As 2020 draws to an end, we have two choices. Remember this year as a really shit one (which it was) or recognise the good. While I’ll be the first to admit that this year sucked and really messed with my mental health, I’ll be remembering it as the year we spent more time at home, more time together. The year we found pleasures in the little things. The year that made me truly grateful for my loved ones and maybe made me realise those who don’t deserve my energy. I got to see Steven watch our little girl grow and witness moments he otherwise would have missed. As we leave 2020 I will be looking back with light and looking forward with hope to 2021.
2020 was tough
I’m not discrediting how shitty this year was. We suffered huge financial backlash to the point we were worried we couldn’t put food on the table. I’ve never cried so much about missing my Mum since I was 5 years old. Our neighbour passed away at home. We cancelled all of our wedding plans. Olivia couldn’t have a birthday party. My mental health has taken some big dives and people we know became very ill with Covid. All of this on top of seeing people being absolute cotton-headed-ninny-muggins online (and offline) about masks, vaccines, restrictions, elections and bog roll! Then the huge cesspit of anxiety that is your nearest and dearest not following guidelines because…. ah, it’ll be alright.
Looking back with light
What I will be taking away from this year are the moments of light and the lessons learnt.
I mean… they’re not set in stone but I’ve planted the seed and that’s a start!
Regardless of what this year threw at me (or rather lit on fire and smashed into my face) I did make some amazing memories. Here are my top 3:
Adventures in Nature
The fancy-wankery way of me saying we went outdoors a lot. 2020 did bless us with some good weather thankfully and we took full advantage of that! We went to the beach more times than ever. We explored sunflower fields and pumpkin patches. Our dog walks became longer and we discovered new places. Even just our back garden got a lot of use and a lot of days were spent there in water play, music, brunches and day drinking.
Steven and I have spent so much time together this year. I was actually dreading it, if I’m honest. When he told me he was being furloughed for a month (the first time) I thought “Uh oh. This is it. The end of our relationship. A month?! Together? In lock down? No where to go, nothing to do, money cut short, stress at an all time high and we’re going to be constantly on each others’ nerves. On top of that we’re imprisoned with a toddler and Cody?!” Surprisingly, we didn’t argue! Not once! And when it came to the last few days before he was to go back to work we were both so bummed! Who knew?
Steven was then furloughed further and we hit really hard times. But 2020 really showed me that when he and I hit hard times we pull together. We support each other. I was there to pick him up off the floor and tell him everything was going to be ok and when I burnt out and just wanted to breakdown he kept me going and was my superhero. I feel like our relationship is on a whole new level and I couldn’t imagine a better person to wade through the shit that was 2020 with.
It’s a Dog’s Life
Well, if anyone is happy about the way 2020 went, it’s got to be our pooches, right? Finally, we’re always home to give them the attention (and snacks) that they so desperately need. Longer walks and more snuggles on the sofa (and snacks). Less trips to the groomers and vets and Cody says I forgot to mention the additional snacks. While his secondary name is knobhead, Cody has been a great stress-buster at times. He’s gotten me out of the house. If it wasn’t for him, I think I would have become a total hermit. He’s also the best snuggle therapy you could ask for. He just seems to know when I’m stressed. He’ll force himself on my lap the millisecond I sit on the sofa as a sort of “Mum, give me a squeeze and you’ll feel better”.
To read more about Cody, check out: Life of a Beagle Bum Mum
Looking forward with hope
As we transition into 2021, I continue to have high hopes for the year, despite the state of the previous. I hope that this will be the year we can see our families again. The year we have huge parties to celebrate the ones we love and vow never to take them for granted again. I hope we don’t lose touch on what really matters.
Of course, I have some personal hopes. I have set some goals for myself. I want to take better care of myself, physically and mentally. I’m going to make an effort to take care of myself even when I’m too busy or just don’t want to. I’ll be focusing on self care in January, so if you want to follow along I suggest you follow me on instagram. Lastly, I’m also going to push myself to start a project I’ve been dillydallying around. It’s one of those things I’ve always wanted to do ‘one day’. Well, I’ve decided ‘one day’ isn’t good enough and I’m going to start working on it. Keep an eye out on the blog to find out what it might be.
Finally, thank you, as always, for reading. You taking the time to read my little blog really has made my 2020 all the better! Thank you! Let me know in the comments what some of your plans for 2021 are!