This week, my baby had her 2nd Birthday! That’s crazy to even be able to say that now. I have a 2 year old. Oh yeah, ya know, I have a 2 year old daughter. WHAT?! When??? It’s cliché to say it but those two years have flown by. I’ll be honest, I don’t know if I’m ready for the terrible twos. I mean, they’ve already turned their ugly head once or twice. And by “turn their ugly head” I mean full on exorcist style – make me want to throw holy water over her – type of thing. But a whole year of it?
I did a similar type of post for when Olivia turned 1 (read that here: Olivia’s 1st Birthday) and I described myself as being very emotional in the run up to her first birthday. How I was so upset at the idea of my tiny baby growing up into an actual child. It was hard for me and I never expected that. This year? Nah, I’m cool. Yeah, I’ve got a handle on this motherhood thing. Until ‘Never Grow Up’ by Taylor Swift comes on my phone and I find myself crying on the kitchen floor with visions of her going off to University and living a life without me. Damn you shuffle!
But really, I’m fine. I do have a slight pinch of Mum Guilt though. Just because this year was supposed to be the year we joined toddler groups , went swimming and had a great big party at a soft play. Obviously, that’s not my fault but that sums up Motherhood pretty well, doesn’t it? I feel guilty that my toddler hasn’t had an amazing year because of a GLOBAL PANDEMIC completely out of my control. WTF?
Regardless, she had a great day. We decorated the house, got her a few small presents (see below what she got for her birthday – in case you need inspo) and I made her a Hey Duggee cake! She had chocolate cake for breakfast in her PJs and was spoilt rotten by all those that love her. She laughed, she cried, she danced, she was knackered by 5pm (as was I). It was just like every other birthday and she will never know the difference between the amazing birthdays to come and the shit storm that was 2020.
This time last year she was crawling around the house at speed. Now, she runs, jumps, climbs and (my favourite) dances. She drinks out of her big girl cup, splashes in puddles without needing to hold my hand, turns pages in a book by herself, sleeps in a duvet not a sleeping bag and I’m no longer poised at the side of the bath ready to catch her if she falls. Now, she knows all the actions to wind the bobbin and gets excited to put her shoes on. She laughs and claps when she’s strapped into her car seat (probably hoping to go to Nana’s A.K.A house of chocolate and Duggee). She strokes Cody so delicately and sits with him on his mat.
My favourite thing about her right now is I can say her name over and over again and get no response. However, if I begin to sing a nursery rhyme, she turns her head in my direction so quick and runs to sit on my lap. She turns pages of our bedtime stories and then immediately watches my face as I read the words. When we cuddle, she likes to wrap a blanket around both of us and lay her head on my chest. And when she can’t sleep, she still likes me to stroke her hair until she drifts off. If there were moments I could freeze and keep forever, it’d be those.
Not the moments where she routinely poos in the bath or the time she poured water over my laptop! Or what’s this thing with drawing with her spit?! She licks her finger and then uses it to draw on things. I’m constantly wiping spit off of my furniture! The foot stamping, the not listening and the whinging! Ugh! By all means cry! Crying means you’re really upset or something is legitimately wrong – whinging is just annoying and slowly chips away at mummy’s sanity and therefore her wine supply. Toddlers – am I right?
So, that’s another year of Motherhood under my belt. I would like the next one to not be during a pandemic, quarantine or a national lock down but hey – maybe that’s me being selfish?